Saturday, February 26, 2011

Always Learning

It's been over 3 months since I last posted something here and I haven't missed it.  So what does that say about me or about my embracing of the blog culture I find myself living in?  It may say that I'm an old dog who isn't learning new tricks well.  It may say that I hold my heart close to my vest and find it odd this need of so many in today's world to share their thoughts, feelings and sins with the world.  I don't have anyone reading this yet or following it, so it may also say that it doesn't really matter. 

And yet I like to write.  I like to create.  I like to share my ideas when asked for them.  And maybe that's it.  I like to share my ideas when asked for them, but I don't readily share my ideas or thoughts on subjects if I have not been asked.  And nobody is asking for my blog thoughts, so I don't write.

But that's doesn't mean I haven't been writing or journaling.  I have, just not in this forum.  I often pray write at work when I am frustrated or confused or unsure how to proceed or nervous about the next meeting that I need to lead.  I have much on my mind at home as well.  My daughter is getting married.  My son recently moved out without warning, and I keep praying often for him to move forward and begin his military career.  My other son calls me often and shares his heart - a heart that is kind and tender and discerning and savvy all at the same time.  On top of all of that I have had some major renovations going on at my home, which has lead to my home being better than ever.  So all of these things are prayers on my heart and mind.  I just have not blogged about them for anyone in the world to read. 

So where am I going with all of this? Why write today?  As I read back over the title I chose and what I've written so far, I think I'm writing today because I've learned a lot over the past 3 months. 

I've learned that I like my home when it is clean and safe,

I've learned that I like quiet and peace, but that I need to force myself to spend time with people more.

I've learned that God is faithful.  He shows up when I ask Him to, and He helps me to succeed.  Any good thing that has happened in my life (and many good things have happened over the last 3 months especially) is because of Him - His care, His grace, His love, His faithfulness.  At the same time, any bad thing that has happened in my life is made bearable because of Him - His care, His grace, His love, His faithfulness.

I've learned that I need to force myself to write and let people in more.  Or at least I think I'm learning that but I probably shouldn't use the past tense form of the word learn.

I've learned that I like parking my car in the garage, something that hasn't happened in years, but I'm able to do now.

I've learned that I can enjoy shopping sometimes, even in fabric stores for bathroom curtain material. 

I've learned that I like to create beauty and order out of chaos.  I even feel God's pleasure when I do so. 

I've learned again that I have some pretty cool kids.  The gifts that they gave over Christmas and other times show that they are thoughtful, caring people.

I've learned that my brother is more ill than I realized, but he can eat crab like a pro.  It was a beautiful site to behold!

I've learned that listening to music, especially praise music, is good for me.  It calms me and lifts my spirit all at the same time. 

I've learned that I may be 49 years old, going on 50, but thankfully, I am still learning.  And I still love to learn, which is a very young thing to do.

And maybe, just maybe, I'll learn to blog better.  Maybe.