It's a Tube Thang

The company I work for derives most of our revenue from private label drug and cosmetic items.  We fill a lot of soap and mouthwash and hand sanitizer, those kinds of things.  Most of them are fluids filled into plastic bottles, but some go into jars and others go into tubes.  Things like creams or acne scrubs will go into tubes that are sealed at one end with a flip-top cap at the other, ready for the user to squeeze out and use.  Sounds really simple, right?  And if nothing changes, it is pretty simple.  But when things change  - as they are want to do MUCH of the time, it isn't so simple.  LOTS of details go into making the changes successful, and sometimes a little bit of food can help when those details make a body want to run from the building screaming and with their arms flailing.

Not that I know anything about wanting to run from a building screaming and with my arms flailing. But some people some where may feel it from time to time.

So this beautiful lady decided that we needed a tube food day - as in everything that folks brought in should be a tube food.  She has flowers sitting in empty, blank, upside-down tubes.  She has Tootsie Rolls and Little Smarties.  And she is holding a mini Slim Jim.  Get it?

 

 

We had little pigs in a blanket and tube cakes.  And for fellow employees who read this, they will appreciate that this dish was "not compliant" since the tube wall thickness was inconsistent.  It's ok; you either get it or you don't.  It's a tube thang...

 

 

Here is how I got in the theme of things.  This was the end result...

 

...and here's a few of the steps I took to get there.  I will start with the little cigarette tube cookies.  The recipe is from Helen Fletcher's The New Pastry Cookbook  so I won't publish it here, but this is a similar recipe, except that Helen's technique to mix in the butter very much like tempering eggs is the main thing that makes her recipe the clear winner.  (I recommend this cookbook if you have any interest in baking!)  Anyway, it has been so long since I made these, that I began with baking only 2 at first to test the baking time and rolling.  You spread batter on the pan in about 3" x 3" squares and then bake for about 3 - 4 minutes in a 425 oven. Helen recommends a non-stick cookie sheet for these and she's right, but I don't have any non-stick, so I used my regular pans. 

 

After 3 minutes and 45 seconds, here is how they look.  The trick is to loosen then from the pan, flip them over and roll them around the end of a wooden spoon while still hot.







Each time I do these I re-learn some of the tricks like flip the cookies over on the hot pan to keep them hotter longer while you are rolling the others.  Or like have 4 wooden spoons ready with the offset spatula.  Or like wash the offset spatula between each pan, so you get a clean removal. 

 

Once they were all cooled, I dipped one end in white chocolate and sprinkles to make for a fun, tube garnish for my other tube - this pumpkin spice roll.  I probably wouldn't do this again; I like Helen's buttersponge recipe better, so I want to figure out how to add pumpkin to the butter sponge.  But the one I made last night wasn't bad - it just wasn't as good as it could have been.  I'm feeling the gap - the Rule # 1 stuff...making it worth the calories.  Speaking of which, there is a Rule # 4 - Remember that people eat with their eyes first.  I was reminded of this after posting the 3 rules a few days ago.  I was in the company lunch room of all places, eating my minestrone soup when 2 folks that I don't know were chatting about heating up one of those ready-made box pasta type things.  She wasn't sure if it would be any good or not, and he said "They never taste as good as the box make them look."  And I realized there was a Rule # 4 that I'd forgotten.  But I'm sure there isn't a Rule # 5.  At least I am pretty sure there isn't...

 

Anyway here are a few shots from putting this together...dusting the towel ready for the hot cake...

 

The hot cake, ready to roll...

 

And the hot cake all rolled up, ready for bed...or was that me who was ready for bed?

 

The cake may tear a bit, but that doesn't mean ya give up...

 

You fill it anyway, and re-roll...

 

And then cover up imperfections with powdered sugar, icing, caramel, cigarette cookies...you get the idea...

 

And ya put it all together, and ya get a tube thang...and people smile...which is always way better than running from the building screaming and with your arms flailing.  Jus' sayin'...



 

 



Pie!!

Pie Night 2013 has been scheduled!!!!

Actually this year, there are two Pie Nights!  Well, ok, one is a Pie Day and one is Pie Night because Pie Day is for my team members at work, and Pie Night is Pie Night. 

I suppose it could be argued that Pie Day is 1/2 a Pie Night, since the SAP Team at work was divided into 6 sub-teams, and each sub-team chooses a pie, so it's only 6 pies to make for that next Wed.  I will be posting pics of those pies - and hopefully get better about posting Pies In Progress (PIP) so you can see how they come together.  But I'm brushing up on recipes like Derby Pie and Strawberry and Cappuccino already....along with making letters from pie crust....there may be a trip back to KC for 3 new cookie cutters...hmmmm...

 

 

And there there is Pie Night Pie Night!  We have decided to set a regular date for this event like The Pie Night Family has done for years.  We can't do the Wed before Thanksgiving like this fine family has done now for 3 generations, but we have set Pie Night as The 3rd Thursday of November!  Woo-hoo!  I feel more official already, don't you?  This will be our 4th Annual Pie Night - I just haven't quite figured out what to call it, since we now have multiple last names in the mix.  If we call it the Langston Pie Night, then it has to have a new name whenever G&I are dead and gone.  If we call it the Chenoweth Pie Night, then that means S&A have to take it over, and if we call it the Wolff Pie Night, then that means S&K have to take it over - and that could be a whole lotta pressure on each of these young couples.  So what's a Mother to do? 

 

Ah, the big questions of life!  But no worries.  We have pie to help us in the tough times!!!

 

Stay tuned!!  Happy Pie 2013!!!

 



Summer 2013

As of yesterday, fall is here.  Kids have been back in school for weeks, so I'm late in posting "What I did on my summer vacation."  Folks may not find this interesting.  Folks may not find any of what I am posting interesting or fun or worthwhile.  That sorta comes with being out of practice when it comes to writing, so I'm trying to post frequently to kick my brain back into gear.  Feel free to read or ignore, but thank you for your patience with me as I try to get in the practice of posting.

We had a really fun summer - funner than I've had in years.  We began by celebrating Christmas in May with a day at a Cards' game, courtesy of Aunt J and Uncle G.  Little J is quite the Cards' fan already....

 

 

Then we had a trip to see family in Springfield, MO over Memorial Day - playing with grandkids and doing some shopping in Branson. We even managed to catch a fun little grin on O's face here. He has his sober-side moments when a camera is pointed his way, but we managed to catch a sweet grin when he wasn't looking!

 

On a work trip to TN I ran into these two cuties in the airport security line of all places.  Their flight was about an hour later than mine, so we got to hang out and play at the gate.  It was like a little mini surprise vacation.  Trust me, little K, charmed the shop owners throughout the airport, but who couldn't be charmed by this face?  She is going to be a big sister very soon, too!  We got to feed them some homemade ice cream in late August as well, which was great fun for G & I, too.

 

In late June we headed on a long road trip to Belton, TX, a couple hours south of Dallas.  On the way we saw the kiddos in Springfield again and then my cousin, S, and his wife, hosted us in Fort Worth for a couple of days to do the FW touristy things like the stockyards and cattle drive.  Here is a pic of most of the cousins who made it to the reunion along with my 2 aunts and 1 of their cousins in the front row.  Keep in mind, my aunts are both now in their 90's.  Pretty amazing, isn't it?  Believe it or not, I am the youngest person in this pic...not that I'm saying any of us is getting old or anything!

 

 

On our way back we spent another few days in Springfield where G did some landscaping and attic work for the kids.  I'm pretty sure that G sweated off about 53 pounds in those few days.  That might be a slight PK hyperbole, but not by much, I assure you.  He has a real gift for creating beauty in a yard, and is quite handy with a tool belt, but there was still plenty of time for a 5-yr old to spend some time in grandma's shoes...which were shoes we picked up in Branson at this cute little shop when we were there Memorial Day.  The best way for me to describe the shoes in this store was whimsical - artsty and whimsical.  I bought 2 pairs but only after asking if I was too old to wear them and was told that I wasn't.  Sales ladies will tell you anything, right?

 

We spent the 4th of July in Springfield and got to share a cupcake with this little guy after fireworks on the Branson landing on the 3rd.  Does it get much simpler and better than this, folks?

 





There was also time for some Andy's frozen custard, cause there's always time for ice cream when little ones are around, right?  Mmmm....chocolate....and raspberries...

 

But then it was time to come home.  But it doesn't mean we can't have fun squishing the air out of Grandpa G's air temporary bed!  Giggles abound!

 

 

 

Then a few days later, R&E and their 2 boys came to St. Louis!  We packed a TON of things in on those few days, too!  A ball game, the zoo, followed by a picnic and then hanging out at this really great playground at Forest Park.  Here's hoping that the video of O getting totally soaked but having a blast playing in the water works...

 

 

But that's not all, folks!  We also introduced them to the Soulard Market and the Magic House.  I am pretty sure G&I need a grandparent's membership to this place.  It has grown soooo much in the last few years.  It's always been a great place to visit, but now it is even better. 

 

We ended the trip with a big family dinner at Rigazzi's (no pic from that event) and then a trip to Grant's Farm where even the big turtle was up and moving around and eating.  Since O loves turtles so much, I knew it was a special treat from God just for little O!  We didn't get a pic of the turtle (I know, Deb the Picture Airhead strikes again!), but Mr. A and I got our first camel ride.  Not sure I would want to cross a desert on one of these, but it would beat walking, no doubt.

 

By August, S&K were buying their first home and we were helping them move in!  I am so happy for them.  This is more space than S has ever lived in her entire life.  It is a great house for them to grow into.  Somewhere along about this time, we caught this pic of Aunt B, actually smiling.  But shhh!! Don't tell her she's smiling in this pic, or she'll figure out some way to shut this blog down!  Know why she's smiling?  Cause she sorta likes her nephew.  Sorta a lot, as a matter of fact...

 

 

I got to close out the summer with these 2 special things.  A friend from work got married without anyone knowing.  It's kinda his style, but we weren't going to let it pass without making him the center of attention for even a half hour with a "wedding" cake and a gift.  A bunch of us had so much fun putting this together for him.  He's just about the sweetest guy you'd ever want to meet.  We couldn't be happier for him!

 

 

And last, but certainly not least, I got to be Mimi for 4 days straight!  We went for walks, we played outside, we played in the grass, we went to visit J's great grandmother, and we laughed a lot.  J loves the game "Uh-oh!"  And Mimi gets to be Mimi and play as long as J wants to play drop the spatula and wait for Mimi to say "Uh-Oh" and just laugh. 

 

Great summer!  I smile all over again rembering the fun.  Love from J'Deb!!





 









Baking Rules

I like to bake.  I like to bake breads - yeast breads, quick breads, biscuits, rolls (sweet and savory), scones - just typing this makes me itch to go mix some warm water and yeast together and create something to take to work tomorrow.  I like to bake cakes - layer cakes with fillings, pound cakes with streusels and sugary toppings, seasonal fruit cakes like apple or peach, buckles, coffee cakes, cupcakes with piles of frosting on top.  I like to bake pies - glorious pies from fruits and custards and pecans and flaky crusts and cookie crust and graham cracker crusts - I can't wait for Pie Night!  I like to bake cookies - gingerbread and sugar and murbteig and amaretti and even simple oatmeal raisin and chocolate chip.  (Chocolate chip cookies for breakfast this morning, in fact.  It's a breakfast of champions, I promise you.)  I like to bake pastry - croissants, puff pastry, phyllo, danishes - those extra-special treats for extra-special occasions and extra-special people.

But it isn't enough for me to simply bake it and serve.  I have a philosphy of baking that I've spoken through the years but don't recall articulating in writing.  Until now.  I am calling them Baking Rules, but they aren't what you might be expecting.  They aren't rules about oven temperature or only using certain chocolate or unsalted butter or having every unitasker or baking pan at your disposal.  They are more motivational rules, if you will - what I look for when baking over and above the act of making cinnamon rolls or blueberry buckle with fresh peaches and ice cream or fresh blueberry pie or gingerbread men or apple danishes.  (Why am I suddenly hungry?  I can't imagine...)

Rule # 1 - It should be worth the calories.  We work out at Gold's Gym fairly regularly although I'd like to be more regular/frequent about it.  Don't get me wrong here.  I don't want to be more regular or frequent because I like to exercise.  I think athletes make it up when they talk about the runner's rush or some such nirvana type feeling from exercise.  It's all a ruse, I'm sure of it, I just haven't been able to prove it yet.  Nope, exercise for me is simply a discipline, always has been; I 'spect it always will be for me.  I'm now of that age where blood pressure starts to climb.  And I hate to take daily medicines, so we joined Gold's Gym a little over a year ago.  And the last few times my blood pressure was checked, it's back to normal levels.  Beyond that I can tell that my heart is getting stronger as are some muscle groups.  I have a looooooong way to go to meet any sort of other goals along those lines (do I have goals along those lines???), but I have no plans to give up baking or eating what I bake.  (See paragraph # 1 above.)  So it better be worth the calories.  All too often baked goods simply aren't worth the indulgence.  I've made plenty of things that aren't worth the indulgence, but when that happens, I will more often than not either not eat it myself or pitch it out.  I have come to believe that if we're going to indulge, then the indulgence should be satisfying.  Otherwise why bother? It's why we buy real bacon, not necessarily expensive bacon, but really good bacon.  It's why we use real butter.  It's why we use real cream, full fat sour cream.  You get the idea.  I'd rather have less of the really good stuff than more of the just ok.  And when it comes to baking, the same is true.

 

Rule # 2 - The results should be predictable.  It's why I love King Arthur flours so much.  It's why I love Helen Fletcher's pastry recipes so much.  It's why I don't scoop flour when I measure it.  It's why once I found my go-to roll recipe, I quit looking.  It's why I'm constantly tasting for gaps in a baked good - what I think it should taste like vs. what it does.  It's why baking is both an art and a science, neither of which should trump the other, but which work hand in hand so that the result may have a range of predictability (I'm not asking for perfection every time here) but it doesn't break Rule # 1.

 



Rule # 3 - You better be able to taste and feel the love.  Even if Rule # 1 and Rule # 2 are adhered to, if you can't taste the love, then the "cake snob" in me has gone to the dark side.  And that is never a good thing.  I took a new friend from work to my favorite foodie store in the St. Louis area, Kitchen Conservatory, on Thursday to share the love with her. Cause baking, whether it's the results or the tools or the ideas, needs to be shared with others, to pass along the love.  I went back to Kitchen Conservatory yesterday and spent 15 minutes looking for a single cookie cutter for a grandson who really likes a certain animal, cause you better be able to feel the love.  I debated about calling this one Rule # 1, and maybe it really is, but I had trouble ranking these rules since they all play together in my own heart and mind.  The antithesis of this rule is that I better not be baking from pride.  If I am, then I'm setting everyone up for a disappointment, and baking should be about bringing smiles and joy.  And love.

 



So there you have it.  The 3 main rules of baking according to Deb.  Cause baking rules.  (Get it?)  I do love me a good pun!

What does it say about me that I can write multiple paragraphs about what motivates me when baking? 

Don't answer that.  I'm not sure I want to know the answer.

Hmmmm....I may get the hang of this Deb Dessertation idea yet....

Awkward Moments...Saying Stupid Stuff

I am not in the habit of blogging regularly.

Yet.

The operative word here is yet.  But I want to blog more regularly, to gain more traction, to spark more ideas, to find my voice better, so someday I can grow up and have a real blog.

A real blog.  One that works like a real website.  Where I have sections for each primary interest in my life.  Family.  Cooking.  Baking.  Or maybe Cooking and Baking.  Faith and Community.  Even SAP cause I'm a geek like that. 

It will have a new name, too.  Instead of Deb's Dissertations, it will be called Deb's Dessertations.  Get it?  Combining 2 things I love to do - write and bake. 

I have to give credit where credit is due for that name.  Paul Allen, yes I just used a full name and not initials, because I'm giving credit where requested, and no, this is not THE Paul Allen, but it is The Paul Allen, who sends me more emails in the company we work for than any other individual, bar none, came up with it one day.  And I liked it. Immediately.  It fit.  But he said that if I ever became an internationally famous bloggest someday, I had to give him credit for the name.

I'm far from being an internationally famous bloggest, so this isn't full credit.  Yet.  But it is credit.

I'm far from being a nationally famous bloggest, so this isn't full credit.  Yet.  But it is credit.

I'm far from being a locally famous bloggest, so this isn't full credit.  Yet.  But it is credit.

I'm far from being a famous bloggest in the family, so this isn't full credit.  Yet.  But it is credit.

Cause Paul Allen is "sensitive" and likes credit.

But wait, the title of this post is Awkward Moments...Saying Stupid Stuff.  I need to get to that, because it's already 6:15am, and I need to start getting ready for work soon!

I've been thinking some lately about awkward moments.  Have you ever noticed how awkward it is to spell the word awkward?  It doesn't flow off the fingers or pen well, does it?  It sorta spells like it feels.  I wonder if there's a word to describe that phenomenon when it occurs.  WKW - when else do those 3 consonants stand up next to each other in a word?

That whole paragraph reminds me of the "I like the word bookkeeper" incident, which I blogged about back in 2011 here .  Here's hoping that link even stays...See how much I have to learn about blogging still?

Was that just an awkward moment?  If that link doesn't work well, then you can accuse me of saying stupid stuff here.  Or of doing stupid stuff.

Do you ever say stupid stuff?  I want to believe we all do.  We say stuff without thinking. We say stuff that at the time we may even really mean and then later go, "Why did I say that?  What WAS I thinking???"  Am I the only one who does that?

Help me here.  Tell me you do that.  Or you hear others say stupid stuff and suddenly there it is.  The Awkward Moment.  Only the person speaking (i.e., ME) is clueless that they've just created one.  All others nearby are aware, but the one doing the speaking is clueless.

Oy vey.  That's when everyone just sorta wants to sigh and say "bless her heart."

And they'd be right. 

But they don't.  So often, they don't.  They let the moment pass.  They graciously and patiently let the moment pass without saying anything and making it worse. 

Cause sometimes the person (i.e., ME) wouldn't get it anyway.  At least not yet.  Not in that moment.

Cause sometimes we remember when we've said stupid stuff and didn't realize how stupid until we thought about it again a long time later.  Long time being a relative term lasting anywhere from a few seconds to a few years or even longer. 

Cause sometimes the better part of wisdom is to let something go.  Or maybe that's the better part of love.  Or maybe that's the better part of grace. Or really it's the better part of wisdom, love and grace.

I'm grateful when people are gracious and patient.  I like it when I get that right every so often.  Life is happier when I exercise grace and patience with people.  Whether those are people in my family, or my work family, or my community or even the customer service/tech support folks at Best Buy.

But I will blog about that tomorrow.  Or maybe I'll blog about a dessert, cause I made a really good version of this cake the other night with some crushed peanut brittle/toffee in the middle and  some chocolate sour cream frosting instead of the ganache called for by King Arthur . 

If those two links work, too, then it will be a good day cause I learned and practiced something new!  Happy Friday all!!

Blessing

Today is Father’s Day.  It has been 10 years since I was able to express Happy Father’s Day to my dad.  I enjoyed reading the tributes and greetings on Facebook this morning, and wondered what I might say.  I didn’t have an answer until church this morning.  We sang Matt Redman’s “Bless the Lord” and tears came to my eyes.  The words of this song are the same as the opening of Psalm 103.  Psalm 103 has been our “family psalm” for a few generations now.  I remember my Dad reading this to us every Thanksgiving and other special occasions throughout the year.  It was read at my mother’s memorial service.  My dad wasn’t perfect, but he loved his children greatly.  And he modeled for each of us a love for God and serving other people with whatever skills and gifts we may have available to us to use.  In other words, to bless the Lord and others. 

I have a son-in-law whose first Father’s Day is today.  K is bigger than life itself at times, full of joy, and also models that life of serving others and bringing them blessing upon blessing with the resources he has available.  He has already seen to it that his son, Jackson, has had his first train trip, doing his best to pass along his zest for life to his son.



I have a son who is not yet a father, but I believe he will be someday.  And I have no doubt that despite the poor fathering modeled by his own dad, he will follow hard after others who have fathered him into the man he is today.  The service at church ended today with more tears for me, because of this son’s choice of a wedding song, “Beautiful Things.”  It is impossible for me to hear this song any more without tears and remembering the look in his eyes as he adored his bride walking towards him to the words of this song...a beautiful moment that I will treasure always. 

I now have a husband who loves his own kids as well as mine, and our grandsons.  He is fathering my youngest son on a daily basis these days, something that I trust will bode D will when he marries and has children someday.  By the way, D told me yesterday that he wants me to find him a wife just like Pioneer Woman.  I guess I have my work cut out for me.

Because of my husband, I have two new fathers of the next generation in my life, fathers of 3 of our grandsons.  Both of these men are highly involved in their young son’s lives.  R is in the ministry, which is a very time consuming life’s work, but he invests heavily in his wife and children.  They are his first ministry.  E works hard to provide for his family, and it is clear that he is K’s favorite man.  The bond that E is building between the two of them is priceless.

I am thankful for the father’s I have in my life – my own, the ones who have stepped in to father my children, the father’s of our next generation – and even the father of my children.  For without him, they would not be here.  Some would say he was only a sperm donor, and I get that, but the best thing he ever did was to give me the four children I have had the privilege to love and enjoy.  So for that I am thankful.

 

I’m glad God thought of fathers.  I have been blessed by them my entire life.  So it is with genuine gratitude that I wish all of them a very happy Father’s Day.

j'd

Imaginery Control

It's been an interesting few days.  A time when I've become very aware - yet again - how little I control.  A time when I've been reminded that normal is not overrated.  A time when stretching my adaptation skills has been necessary.  A time of recalling that there is still always much to be grateful for.  A time of thanking the folks who go the extra mile to help others.

It all began with waiting out a storm in the basement of Macy's - in the bed and mattress section - Friday evening.  Apparently I am not known for shopping at Macy's, because my oldest son was somewhat taken aback by the text reply that this is where we were, but nonetheless, this is where G & I spent the storm as it went over St. Peter's. 

And just about the time we were given the all clear we find out that the power has gone off at home.  Little did we know then that a tornado had actually gone through our town just a few blocks north of where we live.  We simply made our purchases and started heading home.

We stopped at a Hardee's in St. Charles to pick up some dinner since we couldn't cook at home.  They had also lost power briefly, and while the power had returned, their cook tops were not back up to temp, so they couldn't sell everything on the menu.  They pretty much told us what we could order, but we were ok with that.  And just before leaving, I quite casually told my youngest, B, that we'd be home in about 20 or 30 minutes, and we'd have supper with us. 

Ah, ignorance.  It really is bliss.  Not only were we blissfully unaware of the tornado hitting our little town of Ferguson, we were also totally unaware that it had hit Earth City.  Or that Highway 70 was shut down.  No, we didn't really find this out so much until we get to the bridge over the Missouri River.  But trust me, 3 hours later we definitely knew the truth.  We are such fast learners, don't ya know?

Thankfully we didn't have to go to a bathroom during that time, and thankfully we didn't actually run out of gas while on the bridge.  I am sure you have no idea why I might be thankful for either of those particular things, right?  And thankfully we had our sense of humor, facebook and food and text messages.  I mean how couldn't you smile at this pic of J riding out the storm with Mommy and Daddy and a safety helmet?

All day Saturday we were still clueless the extent of the damage in Ferguson.  (Ok, so maybe we AREN'T such quick learners!)  It wasn't until driving around on Sunday that we realized just how much damage had been done - and why it was taking so long for us to get power again.  It reminded me of the damage two years ago that hit on our block instead of a few blocks away.  Same war zone sort of feel.  Same sense of loss and smallness.  Same sense that there is very little that we control.

I think we all imagine that we control quite a lot.  We make plans as if they WILL happen, oftentimes forgetting that any number of events can impact those plans.  Events that are usually way beyond our control.  Such as weather.  Such as the loss of the luxury of normal electricity to give light and to cook and to curl hair and to stay connected.  Such as the need to stop traffic so that experts can clear highways and take care of potential injuries. 

I have been composing this post in my head for the last few days but never actually gotten it typed up.  I was reminded of it again this morning.  I was on a plane, and we were going through some bumpy, stormy weather the last 20 minutes or so.  There wasn't anything I could do about it except pray.  It was another situation beyond my control. There's a reason why the serenity prayer is part of most 12-step and celebrate recovery groups. It is a good reminder that the better part of wisdom includes pursuing serenity, accepting that only certain things are within our control.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

courage to change the things I can,

and wisdom to know the difference.  Amen.

Thanks for reading.  I'm grateful tonight for much.  And that I'm here and able to express it.  Love, D

Babysitting

I've been composing this post for quite some time, but am just now getting around to it.  GG and I have done some babysitting recently!  And really enjoyed it!

We got a chance to babysit little K about a month ago.  His mom and dad, K & E, were in town for a business thing, and if I understood correctly, E was recognized with an award.  Clearly I had my Grandma hat on, because I was much more interested in getting to spend time with K!  We spent much of the day hanging out in the Kirkwood area, just walking around, going into stores.  K got to see 2 trains!  Plus we all got to see the fire truck up close!  I, for one, had never sat inside one before.  They are BIG and there is a LOT of things going on inside of one!  I have a huge amount of respect for our first responders, and the very gracious fireman who welcomed us in has been fighting fires for about 30 years.  We heard a story or two, which I'm sure didn't even make a dent in his repretoire, but I would have enjoyed buying him a beer or coffee and just listened to him.  The babysitting came in the evening while K & E were at a banquet.  GG, K and I went to Plaza Frotenac for dinner, and while the wait was supposed to only be about 20 minutes, we actually left after waiting about 70 minutes.  But K never fussed once.  This little guy must have walked about 2 miles all around the outside of Canyon Cafe while we waited - climbing stairs, opening and closing big doors, charming everyone around and pushing his stroller.  Except he wanted to push it from the handles like big people do, so here's a pic of GG helping K push his stroller...

You may not be able to tell it too well from this pic (I have got to work on my picture taking skills!) but GG is holding K high enough so he can reach this handle, which means his feet are hovering about 8" off the floor.  Fun for K...maybe a bit hard on GG's back, but hey, we're grandparents!  We don't notice such things!

We also got a chance to babysit J recently, too, which as any new mother knows, is always a bigger deal for Mama than for baby.  I don't have a pic from that visit, but I do have a cute pic from one other visit with J - bathtime!  J likes taking a bath.  I have a video, too, but I didn't do such a good job of aiming, if you get what I mean, so I won't post that here.  Parts of the video might embarass J someday, so I'll stick with this little one.

I just love baby smiles!  I'm a fan!

I am also a fan of babysitting grandkiddos.  We get to see the Springfield, MO, set this weekend and then AJ gets to meet J next weekend, and all of that means that I get to see these 4 grandsons again very soon! 

That's all for now.  I'm sure there's more stuff going on that I could post about, but I've just sorta felt like saying I love these grandkids of ours!

Love,

Grandma Deb/Mimi/Jus' Deb



Becoming Mimi

In case you haven’t heard, S&K had their first little one a week ago today!  Only J isn’t so little…he was born 9lbs 3oz and 22” long, but he’s still pretty little to me.  And so precious.  I was able to be with S for much of her laboring time.  She had hard back labor for a total of about 24 hours before the doctor finally said we needed to do a C-section.  S was born with a back condition that is a $16 word with about 53.5 letters in it, but I think we underestimated the impact it would have on her.  But thankfully, J is here and all are healthy and we’ve learned that if God blesses S&K with more children (we hope so!) she will avoid the labor part and head for the scheduled C.  Here are a couple of sweet pics!

It has been an interesting journey to becoming Mimi.  And to date, no grandson has yet actually called me that himself, but that is perfectly understandable.  I haven’t used that name with any of them except J, and funny thing, he doesn’t yet use words to talk.  Still only the non-verbals. 

Speaking of which, it was sorta funny on Friday afternoon, his first day home from the hospital.  I was there to help them get settled in, and J was having a few tummy troubles.  So S was bicycling his little legs to help.  I was stroking his head and talking softly to him.  He would fight S if she tried to cycle him “forwards” but he would not fight if she cycled him “backwards.”  So she cycled him backwards for a while.  Before long she tried forwards again, and he fought her, so I spoke for him and said “I told you once I didn’t like it that way,” at which point, he turns and looks at her with just that sort of little expression on his face!  It made S and I laugh out loud.

As some of you know I debated for months what grandmother name I liked best, and while I settled on Mimi, I will be happy with whatever any of our grandsons call me.  Between the 2 of us, G and I have 4 grandsons, and we love them each uniquely.  A is 4, and will be 5 in May.  He is full of energy and most loving towards his younger brother, O, who is turning 1 this month.  Grandpa G got some sweet snuggle loving from O right before we left their house the last time that is just beyond priceless.  And when A scoots up close to me so I can put my arm around him while I try to figure out the world of Star Wars fighter pods that he is explaining to me so very patiently, well I have trouble listening cause I just plain enjoy being that close to him.  He called me “grandma” the last time we were visiting, and while I had to be cool about it and all, I definitely noticed and it felt really nice…that whole sense of belonging that is inherent in grandmotherly names.

Then we have little K, who just turned 1 last month.  We really enjoyed his birthday party, and got a big kick out of seeing him enjoy his little train set from us.  He was getting lots of cute clothes, but K isn’t yet the clothes horse he may someday be, so when our little wood Imagenarium train set came out, his eyes lit up, and he spent quite a bit of time playing with it while mom opened more clothes.  Since we live 4 hours away and don’t get to see A, O and K very often, it was extra special to see K and some of the other children play with the train.  Extra special little gift for G and I.

And now we have J – the first grandson from my side of the family, who is nearby and so the first one I’ve been able to be around from the very first.  And while this may seem strange to say, experiencing the first few hours and days with him has actually helped me feel more like a grandmother to all of our grandsons.  (And yes, I do want a granddaughter someday, too, but grandsons are way cool.  Period.)  But back to what I was trying to express.  I have enjoyed each of our grandsons and felt love for them that I couldn’t describe, but I wasn’t sure if I felt any different yet or not, felt more like a grandmother or not.  For instance, J was born very late (23:59) on Monday night, and I worked remotely Tuesday.  When I returned to the office on Wednesday, one of the surreal feelings and questions I had all day was “Do grandmothers ‘do’ SAP?”  Now some of you may not know what SAP is, but it’s a computer ERP system, and I support it for a living.  It is a generally heavily male dominated field, so while I know of grandfathers who “do” SAP, I haven’t yet met a grandmother who did.  And can grandmothers be hip and computer functional savvy in business and still be a grandmother?  I know that the logical answer to that question is a firm, “Yes!” but I’m not talking logic here; I’m talking feelings.  So it’s a feeling I had all day. 

Feeling love for your grandchildren and feeling like a grandmother aren’t necessarily the same things.  I suppose some of it has to do with a perception that grandmothers are “old”, but I don’t really think that is what I’ve been experiencing so much.  Part of it has been this expectation of attachment and care giving that goes along with mothering.  In the case of A, O and K, we live far enough away that we can be just the “fun” grandparents that never do any of the regular sort of babysitting.  In fact we have yet to actually babysit.  We just come, visit, play, get A nice and riled up and then leave.  Which is literally what we did the last time we went down there!  We took A into his room after lunch on Sunday and shot some sort of nerfy like arrows at each other (boy stuff!) and the Star Wars poster on the walls.  It was great fun!  We laughed a lot!  To the point that when we got in the car, it was a good half hour of no radio, no conversation, simply silence because by golly, it was quiet again!  Little ones are so full of energy and so busy, that I think that was one of the first experiences of making me feel like Mimi – or a grandmother.  It was the first time I understood from personal experience what folks have said about grand parenting:  “You get to do all the fun stuff and then hand them back!”

But I can pinpoint one other experience that fully made me feel like Mimi.  It was Friday afternoon just after the bicycling episode.  J was still fussy, so we tried the football hold.  S placed him in that hold and almost instantaneously J stopped crying and we could tell he was feeling better.  And at the risk of Baby TMI, we heard some promising sounds coming out of one end of him, too.  Well, that hold started to hurt S’s back, so she asked if I could try.  We gently transferred him from her arms to mine, and he was clearly relaxing.  S leaned back to relieve her back and I continued to sway him and soothe him, until it wasn’t too much longer before he was asleep. 

And that’s when it hit me.  That sense of attachment and care giving – somewhat mother like but not that firsthand responsibility.  I was Mimi.  I’m not going to insist that any of my grandchildren call me Mimi.  I will be thrilled for A to continue to call me Grandma.  The feelings are the same no matter the name.  It’s the transition that is what matters most.  I’ve crossed over some sort of imaginary threshold into a new realm of family.  There is a verse from the Bible that doesn’t apply exactly, but I remember reading it years ago when I felt the desolation of divorce.  It’s a promise to spread wide your tent flaps because your household would be enlarged.  I am aware of just that sort of blessing – lots of family, lots of friends who are as close as family, and now lots of little children that we can love on and enjoy and play with and care for.  And then yep, hand them back!

A house divided...

....against itself cannot stand.

This isn't going to be a fun post.  It may very likely be a dissertation, but I don't anticipate that it will be fun or light-hearted or even easy for some to read.  But since it is the nature of a blog to often be self serving in  that voyeuristic journal sort of way that we've come to know and love about the world of blogging, I am using this means as a way to express some things on my heart and mind tonight. 

While I may not be pleased with yesterday's election results on many counts, that is not my focus.  My focus is on what struck me most as I was glued to the TV like so many millions of others last night.  If anything was clear from last night it was this: we are divided as a nation - perhaps unlike any other time in our history other than prior to the South's cessation from the United States and the ensuing war.  So many of the races, from president to congress, were very close, with candidates winning by small margins.  And given the disparity of idealogies between opposite parties and candidates, one is inclined to conclude that we are split just about right down the middle on what the role of a congressman or a president or even the government is supposed to be. 

It would appear that half believe it is government's job to create infrastructure that supports a free market but stays out of the way as much as possible; to build up a nation's defense in that "speak softly and carry a big stick" sort of way; to create a budget and then live within its means.  It has been a generation give or take since we've seen a government like that, but there are those who desire that.

It would appear that half believe it is government's job to tax the "rich," redistribute that wealth to the "poor" and make sure everyone has been provided for with food, shelter and healthcare; to regulate business and industry against any and every contingency and safety hazard; to negotiate with all countries regardless of their bent to the use of force instead of talking; to bail out failed businesses and banks.  This is the way of government for much of the last 25 years, regardless of which party is in power, and there are those who desire this to be the case.

But we can't have it both ways.  These ideals are generally diametrically opposed.  So much so that rarely can we have a true exchange of ideas any more, much less a consensus of what constitutes a "win" for everyone. 

And that, my friends, equates to a house divided.  And as Lincoln and Jesus have both wisely stated in the past, "A house divided against itself cannot stand."  Whether that is a house divided on how to spend or save money, or a house divided on how to raise the kids, or a house divided on what faithfulness and fidelity mean, or a house divided on how we should govern ourselves, it cannot stand.

Especially if that house is spending more than it is making.  Then that becomes not only a house divided but one that is built of cards.  For living on debt is never a sustainable model in any forum - home, school, church, business, government. 

As a woman who has been through a divorce, I have some first-hand experience with a divided house and its inability to stand.  And it is disheartening to see similar divides in this country that most of us love.  I am not able to talk about these things with many people because I don't want to create walls.  I am much more interested in building bridges.  So it is my hope that this post doesn't create a wall or cause me to be de-friended virtually or in real life, but I fear it may. 

I am open to a reasonable exchange of ideas that doesn't deteriorate into a bumper sticker like, sound-bite sort of finger pointing or name calling waste of time.  But those kinds of discussions are rare these days and better done face-to-face over a cup of your favorite beverage than over blog or FB.  Being me, I would even throw in a pastry to share in hopes we really would start and end that conversation as friends.

So yea...I know this isn't a fun post.  No pics.  No food.  No stories of people I love and name with initials. Not even a word of hope or change sprinkled in.  Instead I seem to be pointing to houses falling or crashing and no longer sustaining themselves into the future.  I could end with some sort of cheesy "can't we all get along" type statement, but that isn't me.  I don't sing fake kum-bah-ya very well. 

But perhaps I can end with this idea, and it will be seen as hopeful.  No matter what happens in this country in the coming days, weeks, months and years, if we do survive for decades more even, I can take comfort in trusting that my hope is not dependent upon a government (city, state, federal, international) but is instead dependent upon the Source of Love, the Source of Hope, the Source of Authority, the Source of Faith.  In Him do I trust and can work to mend and redeem division.

Thanks for reading if you've made it this far.  It's just a glimpse into Deb's heart....

I like friends

I like friends.  All kinds of friends.

I like FB friends.  How fun is it to hear from people all over the country when it's your birthday?!  I LOVE that aspect of FB!  And I am one of those people who like to wish others greetings on their special days, but I don't ever keep up with it like I should.  So it's great to have a helper like FB help me.  And how fun is it when your phone "blows up" all day with greetings from people!  Too fun!

I like party friends.  People who will help you celebrate your birthday with a party.  Even when it's just a regular old number like 51.  People who make up Foodie Bingo and Foodie Double Play games all in your honor.  Way cool.  And way hard, too.  For example, one clue was "These are double good."  The answer is a two-word phrase where both words begin with the same letter.  Can you figure it out?  Here is another one: "you don't need a passport to eat this vegetable."  Go ahead.  Noodle them for a while.  I may or may not give the answers at the end...

I like meatloaf friends.  People who will make you meatloaf and baked potatoes like your mama used to do when you were a little girl, asking what you wanted for your birthday dinner.  Especially when that meatloaf is made by a lady who is almost 80 years old and is motivated by love and wanting to remind you of your mother who is already gone.  How loving and thoughtful is that?  Does it get much better? 

I like non-meatloaf friends.  I have a sisterhood friend who can't stand meatloaf, but that's ok.  I love her tons anyway.  So what she and I don't have over meatloaf, we have over tea and pastry - not a bad trade off in my mind.

I like let-me-be-lazy friends.  G and I had a very low-key, lazy, sleeping-in type weekend - and I really needed that.  I even took a nap today.  Wait.  How old did I turn today?  83?  Yes, that must be it.

I like let's eat Mexican friends.  G & I went with S & R to Chimi's out in St. Pete today for Mexican for my bday.  I have other friends who love Mexican so much we hint that it's time again by saying we need "salsa by IV" - just hang a bag up and inject it via needle.  Speaking of which - if you're reading this ladies, today was really good, but I still need salsa by IV ASAP...

I like family friends.  I've received love from all of my kids and my sister.  S bought me lunch on Friday.  I received cards and gifts.  I even heard from A that she is grateful to have me as her mother-in-law.  Talk about something that makes me smile....

Yep, I like friends.  Such a wonderful gift from God to celebrate.  So I am.  Celebrating each one of you!

Thank you for being my friends and all of the well wishes!

Oh, you want the answers to the double plays above?  Hmmm...should I?  Should I not?  Hmmm...

Tell ya what - I'll type them backwards.  At least that's not a complete give away...

These are double good....  snob-nob

You don't need a passport to eat this vegetable....seirf hcnerf  (trust me...it took us much longer than it took you to read this post to figure these out!  I love it!)

We cut the cake!

Here's the cake.  (And the little Wolff puppy in the background as well as the ice cream maker cylindar.) 

No chance anyone thinks this cake is pink is there?  Sorry, I forgot to get a shot of the blue ice cream, and while it was an odd color, it tasted really good....which all means, of course, that...

WE'RE HAVING A BOY!!!

I look forward to introducing you to Jackson Oliver in a few short months!!

Love,
Ammy
Beemer
Bambi
Bella
Glamma
Grammug
Grams
Khakie
Kitty
(Trust me, it will be a while before I run out of these...the spreadsheet has over 260 potential grandmother names from the Internet...we live in a very interesting world, folks...)

We're having a....

...new post! 

It's been over 2 months since I last posted something on here?!  Can we all say S-L-A-C-K-E-R?

You know it's been a long time since you posted on your blog if you had to think for a minute how to get to it.

You know it's been a long time since you posted on your blog if you couldn't remember the last thing you talked about.

You know it's been a long time since you posted on your blog if you haven't even posted yet that you're having your first grandchild, and mama is about 4 months along!

Yes, that's right!  S&K are expecting their first child this February!  They told us in a very cool way.  She handed us a little stuffed wolf puppy with baby ribbons tied around its neck.  Since their last name is Wolff, it only took A about 1 second to pick up on why S was handing these out.  It took me about 2 seconds...

But get this!  I am one of only 4 people tonight who know what S&K are having.  How exciting is that?!  Only G, B and the ultrasound technician know, too. 

That is until tomorrow about 2:45.  We are having a gender reveal party, which is whene everyone else will find out if we're having a Jackson Oliver or an Alexis Grace.  Here's how they will find out...

S&K will cut this open and find out based on the cake color.  Fun, huh?

I could have posted pics of me making it...but I couldn't do that, cause then you'd already know!  I could have posted pics of the cake scraps, but that would have let the secret out of the bag.   So all ya get is the finished cake.  Sorry. 

Or am I?  It's kinda fun knowing a secret, ya know?

I didn't want to find out too soon myself for fear I'd let it slip in conversation, so B has been holding on to the envelope from the technician ever since Tuesday when S had the ultrasound.  But B, G and I have known since last night and now the cake is ready and the ice cream is chilling ready to freeze tomorrow.  Yep, that's right, we will also have homemade Jackson or Alexis ice cream.  Fun and yum! 

Does it get any better?

I promise I'll post again tomorrow night with pics of the cut cake...same baby time, same baby channel...

Love,
Grandma Deb
Mama Deb
Sugar
Twinkles
Uddermudder
Vanna
Queenie
Pippy
(still trying out some of the grandmother names that S sent in a spreadsheet a month or so ago....)  what do I want to be called?  hmmm....

Is it wrong...

...that I pray for my dishwasher to last at least another year before we have to replace it?  I don't mean it to sound like I'm treating God like a vending machine and punching in my orders.

Is is wrong that I remember writing a sketch that was performed about 6 years ago called "Vending Machine God" that dealt with that very idea?  Or is it more wrong that I've stopped writing sketches?

Is it wrong that I sometimes forget to start that dishwasher because we could fit just a few more things in before "tomorrow" night's supper, but then "tomorrow" gets here and then we don't have room for those dishes? 

It is wrong that it's been almost 2 months since I've posted anything and the only thing on my mind are these random questions and there's no pics of food?

Is it wrong that I asked my son to send me 3,489 post cards from all of the places he will visit while driving a truck?

Is it wrong that when he told me the post cards would be boring and to prove his point he sent me a pic of the highway in front of him from the cab, I tried to sound artsy smartsy and told him his subject matter and composition would get better?

And if that is wrong, is it somehow less wrong that the pics he's sent me since that time have been better?

Is it wrong that I invited my son-in-law over to our house for his birthday this Sunday only to then rescind the invitation a day later because I forgot I'd be driving out of town this Sunday?

Is it wrong that an hour ago I could think of a bunch more of these than I can right now?

Is it wrong that my work day started at 5:30 this morning, and it will start at 5:30 again tomorrow but I'm sitting here at 10:15pm writing down these questions?

Is it wrong that I love those times when I've washed my hair at night and I don't have to put any products in it to style it but I can just let it lay loose and flat but feel soft?

Is it wrong that I love bruschetta even when it's made with store bought tomatoes and I forgot the balsamic vinegar?  Will someone take my foodie membership card away for that?

Is it wrong that I have no idea how to end this post?

Wedding Cake - Finally!

I have no idea what I've been doing the past few weeks that this hasn't gotten posted before.  Well, ok, maybe I know 1 or 2 things - going to TN for business, going out of town for G's birthday, going to his dad's funeral, watching the backyard die but not fast enough for G (have I told you about our backyard?), getting D off to trucking school, working - but other than that, I have no idea.

The pics finally loaded, so here they are.  But let's start with the rehearsal dinner picnic food.  Jesus may still feed the 5000, but He may not always provide the plates.  Somehow we ran out.  I blame the ducks.  Apparently there are 2 ducks for whom setting up tables in high winds is quite riveting to watch and quack about.  My son-in-law did a fine job of chasing them away every so often.  There is a video of this activity but apparently no one caught the funniest end of the video, as in K imitating the ducks...

G was manning both grills, full of chicken and burgers and pork steaks and dogs, but we never got any pics of these.  In fact, we didn't seem to get pics of anything except this waffle cut potato.

Remember me talking about the new cutter we got at the home show?  Well it came in very handy for slicing and cutting veggies for this picnic.  I even had some marginal success with the waffle cutter, but I definitely need more practice.  I've got some fat carrots at home right now that I want to try cutting as a waffle just for the fun of it. 

There are LOTS of stories to tell surrounding the wedding, including things like a chiropractor visit for me on my way to setting up the cake, but most of the stories are my son's and daughter-in-law's to tell.  Trust me...these 2 have plenty of stories to tell their grandchildren about their wedding day!  I couldn't have scripted all of the things that happened to these 2 on that day! 

But the wedding itself?  It was one of the most personal, intimate, worshipful wedding experiences I've ever been a part of.  Even the two ministers were choking up as they blessed these two.  EVERYONE was SO happy for S&A.  As P put it, there wasn't a dry eye in the house except for B - meaning my less-than-prone-to-tears youngest daughter.  There was one moment when I had to look away even.  S&A had done the salt ceremony and while the song is finishing, they are leaning in to pray for each other.  It was too intimate for me to watch.  I am so very happy for them. 

The wedding was also beautiful and fun - full of art and children and bells and music and a special, Hebrew blessing.  Rarely do weddings reflect the personalities of two people so well.  This one did.

Here are a few pics of the cake.  I want to include one pic of G finishing off the cake base.  He cut and sanded and painted the whole thing, but he did most of it when I wasn't around so I only got 1 pic of his concentration as he free-handed the corner designs to mimic the cake topper.

And here is the final, assembled cake.  The bottom tier was the chocolate stout with the ganache, the middle was the cinnamon with the spicy cream cheese buttercream and the top was the amaretto with coconut filling.  It was pretty much ALL eaten!

I'm not a good judge of a pic, so here are all 4 shots from slightly different angles....

That's all!  Happy Friday everyone!