Thursday, July 28, 2016

Endings and Beginnings

I have been writing the last few pages of a chapter in my life the last couple of weeks.  This has been a long chapter, lasting almost 18 years.  That's pretty much a lifetime - birth to graduating from high school type lifetime years.

As of about 3pm tomorrow, I will no longer be an employee of VJ.  I will be short of 18 years by 12 days when I walk out of the exit interview tomorrow. 

That has felt so surreal since I made the decision last Monday.

I have accepted a new position with a company I will heretofore call MP in Chesterfield to help them with their SAP implementation.  They are going live in January with the latest version of SAP, so this is a wonderful learning opportunity. 

It is also a scary opportunity.  It is a chance for me to spread my wings and take what I've learned at VJ and apply it someplace else. 

I may fly. 

I may flop.

But I won't know if I don't try.  And I don't want to get to the end of my career and look back and wonder if I could have done it.  So I'm trying to move past the fear - with God's help and the help of wonderful encouraging words from so many - and starting at a new company on Monday. 

This is good news!  I know it is good news! 

Yet at the same time... tears.  I was crying big time when I wrote out my letter of resignation.  I could not have spoken what I wanted to say to the two men who saw something in me that I didn't see in myself.  These two men changed my life, and the opportunity I have before me now would not be possible without the two of them.  Thinking of that now brings the tears again.  How do you thank people for changing your life for the good?  Somehow the coconut cream pie and pumpkin swirl cheesecake that I brought them as peace offerings just didn't seem to suffice.

And then I was fine with the tears. 

Until today.

When wonderful people surprised me with a "This Is Your VJ Life" party.

When I heard voices I hadn't heard in years.

When I heard stories of dead fish and emails and crashing the system and work associates who have become friends.

When I listened to words of appreciation from folks I've worked closely enough with that they know where the bodies are buried and could have told those stories but chose not to. 

When I hugged the receptionist that holds the building and all of us together and who may never decide to retire.

Yep, endings.  Closing a chapter.  Turning the page and starting to write a new one. 

I simply want to acknowledge this moment.  So many people have taught me so much as I wrote this last chapter.  More than I could ever thank, but to whom I will always be grateful. 

And who I will always treasure.

You know who you are.  Thank you.

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